your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
