Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
