He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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