I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
