You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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