Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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