And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
