I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
