it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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