East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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