Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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