East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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