so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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