it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
