my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
