You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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