no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
