At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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