we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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