I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
