it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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