Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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