Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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