If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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