I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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