I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
