just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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