talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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