He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
