Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
