Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
