Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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