i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize