haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
