Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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