as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
