If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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