im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
