he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
