their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
