I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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