i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
