the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
