MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
