Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
