My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
