I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
