I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
