I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize