im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
