is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
