I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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