hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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