1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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