She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
