My hand turned me down
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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