Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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