i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize