Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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