hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
