problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
