can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
