No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
