i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
