Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
