Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
