it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
