we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
