i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
