She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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