i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
