hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
