Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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