Apparently you make a good broom.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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