i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
