My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
