Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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