I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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