first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
