last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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